May 12, 2012

Do You Know The Bible?

                                                          II Timothy 2:15
"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

Here's are little funny takes on the Bible. These are actual answers given in response to the questions about the Bible, which were posted on the net. Believe it or not, not all answers came from kids!

1. The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
2. Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.

3. Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the apostles.

4. A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

5. Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

6. Solomon had 100 wives and 700 porcupines.

7. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.


A pastor told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you all understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark, chapter 17."

The following Sunday, as the pastor prepared to deliver his sermon, he asked for a show of hands, wanting to know how many people had read Mark 17. Almost every hand went up.

The pastor smiled and said, "Mark only has 16 chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."


A new pastor in Waxahachie, Texas, USA, spent the first four days making personal visits to each of his prospective congregation inviting them to come to his inaugural services.

The following Sunday the church was all but empty. Accordingly, the pastor placed a notice in the local newspapers, stating that, because the church was dead, it was everyone's duty to give it a decent Christian burial. The funeral would be held the following Sunday afternoon.

Morbidly curious, a large crowd turned out for the 'funeral'.

In front of the pulpit they saw a closed coffin which was covered in flowers. After the pastor had delivered the eulogy, he opened the coffin and invited his congregation to come forward and pay their final respects to their dead church.

Filled with curiosity as to what would represent the corpse of a dead church, all the people eagerly lined up to look in the coffin. Each mourner peeped into the coffin then quickly turned away with a guilty, sheepish look.

In the coffin, tilted at the correct angle, was a large mirror.


A fringe benefit of soul winning

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